EVENING OF ENCHANTMENT By Elizabeth Palumbo
When Darlene first sent the invitation to the Evening of Enhancement for married couples, I couldn’t help but think of the song, “Some Enchanted Evening.” The lyrics say, “You may see a stranger across a crowded room and somehow you know.” Earlier that day, as I was sitting across the breakfast table trying to listen to my husband tell me about something he was reading, all I could think of was, “Who is this guy and why is he clicking his spoon repeatedly on his oatmeal bowl in between bites and wait what, are those my reading glasses he’s wearing?”
Darlene and Mike’s talk on “Things That Bug You About Your Spouse and How You Handle It,” couldn’t have come at a better time.
Twenty-three years of marriage and there are times where minor irritations, not listening closely enough, rushing too much, children, jobs, bills, all of life’s incessant demands, can create a space between us that can make it feel like we are married to a stranger. The years can sometimes weigh heavy on a marriage.
But the very first time I saw my husband, he was a stranger, and it was across a crowded room—and I couldn’t take my eyes off of him. I felt a magnetic pull to him that has never really lessened, although there are times ….as in every marriage, it’s not all cash and prizes. I love how the Married Couples Weekend and Reunion Night pull us out of our daily lives and remind us that our marriage is a living breathing entity that needs constant care. Sometimes that care is easy to give, but other times— like when our spouse is doing things that bug us—it can feel near impossible. Either way, in a marriage, the holy commitment made on the altar demands we show up—easy or hard, we show up. Mike and Darlene spoke about the triangle with God at the tippy top and both spouses on opposite sides at the bottom, the closer we each get to God, the closer we get to each other. As long as we keep God at the front and center of our marriage, it will stay strong no matter the challenges it will face—and it is guaranteed to face challenges.
Rob recently had surgery for lung cancer and, as I sat in the waiting area, all I could think was, “I’m not done with him yet.” There are so many more years ahead and things I want to learn about him because in many ways as we grow in life—as we go outside to interact with the world— as we age, we change. We are not the same people who stood on the altar twenty-three years ago. The Married Couples Retreats, and Reunion Evenings give us the opportunity to hear about how other couples handle their challenges and live with God at their center. We are given tools and support and compassion and, most importantly, humor. We are reminded to embrace the joys of marriage along with the hardships.
Rob’s surgery was 100% successful, and we went on a trip to New England to celebrate. So just three weeks after the surgery, when I was so afraid of losing him, I found myself yelling at him because I was driving through the mountains of New Hampshire and he wasn’t being a “good enough” co-pilot. Oh boy, our marriage like most marriages, will always need help. I’m grateful for the Married Couples Program and all they offer. Time spent in it, is a great investment to make for your marriage. Come join the fun, all married couples are welcome.