KNOWING HOW TO PRAY — A REFLECTION By Lisa Brogan

             “Sometimes I think I just don’t know how to pray!” As a spiritual director, as an OCIA leader in my parish, and as an active participant and mentor in Alcoholics  Anonymous, I hear some version of this concern quite frequently. We all, it seems, struggle with prayer from time to time, dependent upon our life circumstances, our spiritual condition at the moment, or just the poking out of our human defects and sinfulness. We cycle through it. Hopefully, with help, we find a way forward. It is all part of the journey of faith.

But I am focused today on the HOW of my prayer. Not so much the nuts and bolts of different kinds of prayer, but more how to know which kind is appropriate in THIS moment. “Knowing how” sounds like a head exercise; but I need to drop it down to my heart. That’s where my truest communication with God happens. So how do I get there?

Opportunities for prayer are seemingly endless. We pray whenever we put ourselves in mind of God, raise our hearts and minds to Him, settle into an awareness of His presence. But when do I say an Our Father or a Hail Mary to connect my heart to His?  When does the familiarity of a rosary or Stations of the Cross serve me best? When do I go to Mass to be nourished by the Eucharist as part of my prayer, and gain strength from the community? When do I grab my Cursillo cross and, remembering the power of my chapel visits, reach with my whole heart for Christ crucified? When do I sit with him on my sofa and just chat? When do I quiet myself into meditation, allow myself to be guided there, or reach for silence? When do I sink into contemplation with no intention whatsoever? 

If you’re waiting for an answer I hate to disappoint you. I can only share my own  experience, which is that this choice is not one I can make in my head. All I can do is open myself to consciousness, and let God lead the way. If I am praying one way and my gut is saying “sometimes I think I don’t know how to pray,” maybe God is inviting me to something new. Look around. Breathe deeply. Follow any inspiration that strikes you. God is in all of it, and He will guide you where you need to go. The key is willingness – willingness to encounter Him in the moment, in the way you are being called, maybe even in a way that seems uncomfortable. If you know God is in the invitation, are you willing to say yes?

Prayer is one of the pillars of our Lenten practices. It is an opportunity to listen more closely for the prompting of the Spirit, and perhaps to stretch outside our comfort zones and experience prayer in new ways. But at its heart, prayer is simply a moment spent with God, feeling His embrace and letting Him carry us into deeper relationship with Him.  There’s no right or wrong, no need to figure it out in our heads. When I accept the grace He bestows, I have solved the puzzle of knowing how to pray.