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On Saturday, October 23, 2021, fifteen brave souls gathered at Christus Vivit in Jamaica Estates, NY, to embark on a day retreat for Grief and Loss. Led by Jim Linden and his team of Nancy Massaro, Rich Grillo and Angel Barbara Benedict.

The day unfolded nicely, as discussions led the group to take a look at the grief and loss in their lives and how to move forward from it. Lots of emotion was shared, as well as smiles and growth. The day wrapped up with a beautiful exercise of heart. Thank you to the fifteen who joined us—we pray that your journey has lightened a bit. We will definitely run this program again, so stay tuned for your chance to join us.

Here are a few comments from the people who joined us:

“The honesty of the talks enabled me to be open and honest at table   sharing.”

“Enabled me to look at grief from a different perspective.”

“Very impactful—each speaker showed his/her courage in sharing such a personal account of his/her own grief.”

“The talks were captivating, heart felt and comforting.”

“It was effective in seeing the difference and similarity of our grief.”

“Let me know that, although my grief is individual, I certainly am not alone.”

“Very touching to share our grieving.”

The Team was described as, “Excellent,” “Spectacular,” “Cream of the crop.”

Comments for the Prayer Service and Ritual:

“Had the opportunity to say what we needed to so we could let go.”

“Extremely meaningful! The prayer service was comforting and the      message release was emotional and healing.”

“Brought grief to the forefront and enabled me to address something I am not comfortable with”. 

 

How many Advent reflections begin by reminding you that Advent is about more than buying gifts, wrapping presents, planning dinner and decorating?  Most, I’d venture to say. That’s because we easily get overwhelmed by the tasks of the season, and it helps to be reminded that we are being called to do more. So, while we know we have to attend to a host of material things leading up to Christmas, we sometimes need to be prodded to remember to tend to our spiritual needs as well. What does the Advent ahead look like for you?

I always used to think of Advent as a time of solemn reflection. Although it leads us into Christmas, with all its attendant joys, I still understood it to be a time of introspection and repentance. And of course, it is. We should all take the opportunity, as we await the coming of our Savior, to consider our own lives, to take stock of where we are, and where God wants us to be.

 Yet, even with that challenging task at hand, today I am far more taken with the idea that Advent is a time of great hope. Hope that, despite our own expectations and desires, God has things firmly in hand.

 I think about Mary, and how she had to surrender probably every expectation she ever had about how her life would turn out, and how much hope she must have held for God’s plan being manifested in her very self. Hope that God’s presence among us would save us, would change the world.

 I think about Peter, and all the apostles, and how hard it was for them to hear and understand what Jesus was saying to them — what He said was so often at odds with their own  expectations and desires. But they stayed, because in Jesus they found hope for salvation, for new life. Hope that God’s presence among them would save us, would change the world.

 I think about Paul and all the early Christians, waiting breathlessly, expectantly, for the imminent return of Jesus; and I think of John, left when all the rest had gone. Left to remind us that while He hadn’t yet returned, that day will come. He gave us hope for what awaits in the last judgment, the gateway to the Kingdom. Hope that God’s presence in the final coming will save us, and change the world — bringing us to a new, transformed existence.

 It turns out that for all the Christmas preparations that dress it up, Advent isn’t just about getting ready for the coming of the Christ child. It’s also about His presence with us every day, right now, through the Sacraments and through the Holy Spirit, helping us to prepare for the Second Coming — to be ready, to be right with God when the moment arrives when we will be saved. When the world will be forever changed.

 

What’s your favorite season? What do you enjoy the most about it? Mine has always been summer. The free spirit of it, the warm sunny days. I enjoy sitting outdoors for some quiet time of prayer to center my day. Observing the flurry of activity that goes on in the immense maple tree in the backyard, the home of a few scrawny squirrels that I feed. They seem to co-habitat well with the mix of birds that frequent the tree. My  favorite hobby, fishing, gives me plenty of time to ponder my place in God’s vast creation. The   reasons behind anyone’s preference of seasons are as unique as the individual. These preferences are apt to change as we do. Nothing remains the same, we are always growing and evolving.

What about what season of life you are in right now.  We may be experiencing changing circumstances in our lives and the lives of our loved ones. Age, health, career changes, financial reversals, ad infinitum. Are they obstacles or blessings?

What about the liturgical calendar? Now we are moving towards the end of ‘Ordinary Time’ but soon enough, with each color changing and falling leaf, we will be preparing for Advent. As the  foliage illuminates into vibrant colors it shows God’s splendor. He shows us how to let go gracefully and what to hold onto in love. He is a God for all seasons. He accompanies us to and from each season of our lives.

Enjoying summer so much doesn’t mean I don’t look forward to the year’s grand finale, orchestrated by the Maestro, one last burst of colors. The shift has begun. I soak in Autumn with all my senses. As much as the world about us is changing, God does not. His unchanging faithfulness is my anchor. When the wind kicks up, I trust that is the dance of The Holy Spirit, clearing my path. As much as I can’t rush the seasons, I can’t get stuck in a previous season either because I know God has a plan for my future. Holding on to something past its expiration date only brings needless suffering. The trees will become bare for a season but that doesn’t erase the beauty that was there.

Transitions can be exciting and uncomfortable at the same time, even overwhelming. I have examined these times in my life to gauge where my confidence has come from. The same God that was with me yesterday on a Summer’s day will be with me tomorrow in the Autumn breeze and for each season of my life.

As we reap the harvest of the seeds we planted last Spring, let us look forward to the reflection and rest period ahead in Winter. This cycle has repeated itself 54 times in my life. Growing older is mandatory but growing in faith and wisdom as a Christian is optional and an on going process. What season of change are you in? Preparing for? I will be taking some time to dig my roots in a little deeper and allowing those dead leaves to fall away with my eyes fixed on Jesus. What about you?

 

St. Paul’s Cursillo continues to find ways to bring the Cursillo Community together over Zoom Conferencing. Women’s Spiritual Team Member, Darlene McGovern, has two exciting events planned over the next few months:

GUIDED MEDITATION

Please join us for a guided meditation on Wednesday, October 27, 2021, at 7:30 PM over Zoom Conferencing. The evening will consist of a guided meditation followed by faith sharing. The gathering should only take one hour. This is a great way to stay connected to the Cursillo Community. All are welcome. 

MARRIED COUPLES EVENING OF PRAYER & FAITH SHARE

Darlene & Mike McGovern invite you to join us on Wednesday, November 10, 2021, at 7:30 PM over Zoom Conferencing. This is offered to all married couples. This is an opportunity to strengthen your relationship with your spouse and with God. Please join us for this evening. 

We are truly thankful for all of our event presenters who create these inspiring sessions. We are very grateful to all that attend these sessions and open their hearts to what they hear. We hope to announce new opportunities in the next few weeks. Please continue to spread the message of Cursillo to the people in your lives that haven’t experienced their weekend yet—it can make the invitation to the next Women’s and Men’s Cursillos easier to share!

 

I think the movie, The Sixth Sense, is a terrific movie. It is a scary, endearing thriller with a surprise ending. It is a love story as well as a story of compassion for others. It is a   story about making up for past mistakes and a story of being there when others need you. It is a story of redemption. But the scene that struck me the most and has stayed with me for years is the scene when the son finally shares his secret with his mother. He describes how he sees and talks with his dead grandmother. The mother thinks he is making up a story until he tells her one particular incident from her past that he could never know about unless his dead grandmother told him. His mother is finally convinced when he explains the grandmother describes how the mother came to her grave and asked a question. The grandmother’s answer to her daughter is “everyday!”. “What was the question you asked” the son says to his mother. She answers, “Do I make you proud?” 

 I can see myself asking the same question of my mother, even though she died 24 years ago. “Do I make you proud?” “Am I the man you hoped I would grow up to be?”. I know this isn’t a question I am asking because I am afraid of being judged. I don’t think my mother ever judged me harshly. It is more a question of seeking moral guidance. Guidance from someone who taught by example and not through harsh words or punishment. Someone who always loved me and set a standard of how a person should lead their life.  

 I find myself asking God the same question these days. “God, do I make you proud?” “Am I doing all that you ask me to do?” You have sent so many good, loving, faithful and compassionate people into my life to show me how to live. Did I learn from them? You have loved me with all my faults and struggles. You have never judged me harshly and you are always there for me. Do I show the same love to others? 

 We live in a strange world these days. There is a disease changing everyone’s life as we knew it. People can’t agree on whether its real or even how to protect ourselves and others. Because of Covid so many people are suffering; they are experiencing things they never thought were possible. Some are frightened and feel alone. It seems that these times call for us to be more aware of each other and to step up. To share what gifts and blessings we have with those who don’t. To share hope for the future. To pray for and with each other.

Personally, I need to do more so that when I ask the question “Do I make you proud, Lord?” the answer will be “everyday.” 

 How about you? 

 

The thirteenth session of the St. Paul’s Spiritual Enhancement Series took place on Wednesday, June 23, 2021, over Zoom conferencing. The theme was, “The Gift of Our Fathers.” Joe Amato led a discussion with three Cursillistas: John Asselta, Jim White & Conor Godfrey. Connecting with last month’s theme about mothers, this session was a great opportunity to reflect on fathers. 

Jim White was our first guest for the St. Paul’s Spiritual Enhancement Series. He is has devoted his life to helping young people in crisis overcome their circumstances to move forward to a future and a life that is good as the Executive Director of Covenant House. He began his career with there in 1982. Jim demonstrates the unconditional love of God to the young people of Covenant House, his staff, and the wonderful donors who make it possible for us to continue this important work.

A graduate of Siena College (’73), John Asselta was a religion teacher and guidance counselor at Xaverian High School (Brooklyn) and St. Francis Prep (Queens) in the 1970’s. After working for the Muscular Dystrophy Association, coordinating the NY portion of the Labor Day Telethon, John became the Director of Meeting and Travel Services for KPMG where he worked for 23 years. John has been involved in producing    Covenant House’s fundraising event, “ A Night of Broadway Stars,” held across the country over the past 15 years, helping to raise more than $26 million dollars for Covenant House’s mission to help young people move from homelessness to hope.

Having spent the better part of the last two decades on Wall Street, Conor Godfrey has a profound understanding of the struggles of working in today’s Corporate America. He is now a consultant for FranChoice, mentoring and ultimately helping his candidates to find their own fulfillment and happiness through franchise ownership. He is married to his wonderful wife, Doreen, and has three daughters. Conor made Cursillo #230 in March 2019.

These three amazing men showed pure honesty, vulnerability and candor, talking about their fathers & the gifts & challenges of being fathers. Having a close  relationship with our three guests, Joe Amato asked them very introspective  questions. Thanks to them for strengthening or faith and challenging us!

If you were unable to attend the session, you can watch a recording of it on the  St. Paul’s Community YouTube channel. Subscribe to the channel if you haven’t already! The link to the session is https://youtu.be/RdO2oPt1TpU.

We’ll be resuming this great series in September – thank you for all the attendance and support over these last 13 months – and share this video with the people in your lives to bring them to Cursillo! 

 

Often, when I awaken, my first prayer of the day is, “Lord, please help me today to be the person whom you have created me to be.” I also know that there are so many variables that relate to who that person really is.

 God has truly blessed me with more that I could have ever imagined and provided me with more than I will ever need. Yet, too often, I find myself in a state of discontent over the disappointments that are an inevitable part of our lives. There is a desire for perfection that is inherent within me and I struggle with the pursuit of perfection which, of course, is unobtainable. I find myself questioning why a certain set of negative occurrences is stopping me from achieving what I perceive to be a reasonable expectation. As you may have figured out by now, I do not do well in traffic delays.

 The key for me to truly embrace the life that God has created for me to live is what I call,” Radical Acceptance.” What that means is a realization that inherent in our existence, along with the many blessings and gifts and positives, are disappointments, negative situations over which we have no control, and pain and suffering. When I am able to practice Radical Acceptance, I can embrace the fact that everything isn’t going to be the way that I want it to be and to cease my futile attempts to change what is beyond my ability to control. It is a way to live our lives more fully by always bringing our full attention to the present moment and accepting it for what it is. A realization that God is in everything and embracing His presence in the positive to fulfill us and the negative to soothe us.

 I am not sure whoever told me that I had the right to expect that anything or everything would be exactly as I would want it to be in the first place. If there is one thing that I have learned over the years, it is the certainty that adversity will occur, perhaps when it is most unexpected or when we are least prepared. It is our ability to deal effectively with adversity that will really enable us to be at peace and to be there for those who rely upon us.

 Radical Acceptance is the ability to realize that God has placed all the experiences in our lives, positive and negative, and for us to welcome them equally; to remember that it’s not about you; it just is what it is in the earthly existence that God has provided for us.

 When I am able to practice Radical Acceptance, I have a sense of not worrying about imperfections, either in myself, in others or in the daily situations that confront me whether they are positive or negative. I know that when I am not in a state of Radical Acceptance, my  imperfections are more apparent to me and a sense of unworthiness begins to creep in and it makes it harder to be that person whom God has created me to be.

 My ability to embrace Radical Acceptance and make it a part of my life has drawn me closer to God and to the peaceful state of mind that He has intended for me. I am even beginning to do better in traffic delays, sometimes……

 

The twelfth session of the St. Paul’s Spiritual Enhancement series took place on Wednesday, May 26, 2021. It was a very powerful session, with four strong Cursillistas (Rosemary Fox, Nancy DiNardi Massaro, Dona Calia & Catherine Skarulis Amato) sharing stories of their mothers to support the theme, “The Gift of Our Mothers.” Joe Amato led the discussion and provided prayers & reflection opportunities for all that attended.  Joe asked each guest when they made their Cursillo/Christian Awakening weekend & how that weekend affected them; their family of origin; who their mom was (in their giftedness & non-giftedness); if they grew up with any resentments; and what qualities of Mary that they saw in their mothers. Also, he asked them their favorite scripture passage & why. Each of these women could have taken an entire evening to tell their stories!

The video has been posted to the St. Paul’s Community YouTube channel. Please check it out, as well as many St. Paul’s Cursillo Community videos (and subscribe to our channel). Share them with the people in your lives to invite them to a Cursillo! Thank you for keeping this community strong & please continue to support our programs!

https://youtu.be/9Sqhg8eF6rg

 

 

“When a flower doesn’t bloom you fix the environment in which it grows not the flower.” – Alexander Den Heijer   

  Spring is typically a time to spruce up our external environments. Putting in a little extra effort to make our world pretty on the outside. With the seasonal changes upon us, we begin to pull back the curtains and open the windows to allow fresh air and light to re-enter our worlds. A whisper of hope is on the horizon at last. There is a unique energy in May with its explosion of new life as we witness the reawakening of the earth from its dormant wintery state. Wonders in the ordinary surround us.

 Approaching this spring I set aside time to reflect on my spiritual life over the last year and have challenged myself to do some spiritual housekeeping. Was I hoarding any negative  energy?  Had I developed any habits that need attention?  Yes, I had to admit that I did feel a heaviness from a nation divided on so many topics and the lingering effects of the isolation and adjustment of a year of “covid.” I didn’t want to allow the seeds of anger, fear, judgmentalness, resentment and unforgivingness to take root and fester. What about you… are you willing to identify and be rid of what no longer serves you, what doesn’t serve God? First, I needed to examine my emerging primary obstacle—distractions. One of which is a true thief of my time – the endless loop of social media. My spiritual sloth. I needed to adjust my environment and place God as the untouchable top priority.

To quiet the outside world, I enjoy reading scripture and Bible journaling. During one prayer time, I was reading the ‘Parable of the Wineskins’ in Luke’s Gospel, “No one pours new wine into old wineskins” (Luke 5:37) and it really made a unique impression on me that  particular day. I really gave it an honest consideration. Regardless of my continued desire to be a new creation in Christ, there I was, struggling. Burying myself in digital clutter (refining the art of “busyness”) and bingeing the newest mind numbing Netflix release. I  realized I wasn’t shutting out the noise, I just became good at camouflaging it. I couldn’t continue to stitch together the old and the new. Jesus warned exactly of this in that parable. The futility of adding a new nature to an old way of life. I brought that feeling of heaviness to Jesus. We sat with it. I had to try to eliminate those negative pieces in my environment in order to   experience the new life that Jesus is calling me to. What dusty  corners of your life need attention?

The Holy Spirit moves through my environment like the fresh air and Jesus is my Sunlight. Welcome to Spring !!!  

DeColores

Theresa McHugh

 

The eleventh St. Paul’s Spiritual Enhancement Series session took place on Wednesday, April 21, 2021, at 7:30 PM over Zoom Conferencing. The theme was, “The Gift of Ministry, Putting Love Into Action.” Joe Amato led a discussion with Cursillo Spiritual Team Members, Darlene & Mike McGovern.

Darlene McGovern made her weekend at St. Paul’s on Humboldt Street in 1968. It was a weekend for teenagers called Encounter. Her Fourth Day was quiet. She married Mike in 1973 and they had four children between the years 1976-1986. She was called back to St. Paul’s when Deacon Lenny Sclafani and his wife, Cathie, came to Our Lady of the Snows parish. They spoke about  Cursillo and the Married Couples Weekend. By then, Darlene was busy with many ministries at OLS. She had just begun a career with the Department of Education. She became a paraprofessional to special needs emotionally disturbed high school students where she remained for 19 years until she retired. Darlene & Mike  attended their first Married Couples Weekend in 1997 and, within a couple of years, became part of the team. Darlene was an Angel for a Women’s Cursillo weekend in 2001. From there, she became Table Team, Rectora & Spiritual Team. Darlene & Mike currently are Directors for the Married Couples Weekend.

Mike McGovern made his Christian Awakening in 1968 at Humboldt Street in Brooklyn. It was called the Encounter at the time and, later, renamed the Christian Awakening. He has been a member of the Men’s Cursillo Team since 2001. Mike is a parishioner of Our Lady of the Snows since June 1957 or (as he likes to say) since before the Dodgers left Brooklyn for LA. He graduated from Our Lady of the Snows school, Holy Cross High School and St John’s University. He celebrated his marriage of 48 years to Darlene on May 5th.

Darlene & Mike have lived a life in ministry and have done so many things— and they are so humble about it. They were able to convey how ministry has been transforming for them, at times in their lives when they were both willing & unwilling to become involved. They talked about the sacrifices they made & the  impact it had on professional lives & family time. The clear message was how they accepted the call and how they needed to keep God in it.

If you were unable to be a part of the evening, please watch it on our YouTube channel (St. Paul’s Cursillo Community) at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pEGjmljEIbc. Share this & other Cursillo events & videos with the people in your life. Let’s continue to grow this Cursillo Community!